Hello EB readers , This post is for those who are always confused about if they should remain friends or not .
After a breakup, some couples prefer to part ways completely and never speak again. It can be too painful to be constantly reminded that your relationship didn’t work out. Not to mention, not all breakups are amicable, and it’s difficult to stay friendly with someone you feel did you wrong. Other couples however, do try to to remain in each others lives as friends, but it isn’t always easy. How can you tell if you should stay friends after a break up?
You still like each other.
It’s entirely possible to still like your ex, even if you don’t love them anymore. If the breakup was mutual or you left on good terms, a friendship might be in the cards. You still enjoy each other as individuals, even if a romantic relationship couldn’t last. Maybe you have common interests that brought you together in the first place, or perhaps you just have a great time hanging out together no matter what your relationship status.
You aren’t emotionally invested anymore.
Breakups, especially the heartbreaking kinds, take a long time to get over. You might have moved on physically from your ex, but your emotions might be well behind you. When you try to be friends with someone you still have feelings for, you put yourself at risk to get hurt further. You might be able to convince yourself that you can hide your feelings, but imagine how you would feel if your ex talked to you about the new person he’s dating-it would be devastating! Another issue with trying to be friends too soon is that you might mislead their friendship for more. You might convince yourself that their friendly invite to get coffee is a date, or you might be using the friendship as a way to hold on to a love that you aren’t ready to let go of.
You’ve had time without them.
One of the common mistakes couples make is trying to ease their pain and jump into a friendship right away. Instead of being boyfriend and girlfriend, they will be BFF’s, and it won’t hurt as much. This seems like a great idea, but in reality it’s just their way of prolonging the breakup. Even a week apart will give you the clarity to know if you should remain friends or if it’s better to move on without them in your life. Remember that these decisions don’t have to be all or nothing-you might decide that now isn’t a good time to be friends, but your paths might cross in a year or two and things could be different. Time is the best healer in these situations, and if you keep an open mind and heart, you will make the right decisions for yourself.