My dear husband: I’m writing dis letter to tell u dat I’m leaving u. I’ve been a gud wife to … u for d past 20yrs & I’ve nothing to show for it,and d last 2 weeks has been hell. Ur boss called to tell me dat u left ur job today. -Last week,u came home & didn’t even notice I had a new hairstyle,had cooked ur favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. U didnt even eat ur food,& went straight to sleep after watching ur TV soaps. U don’t tell me u luv me anymore.Its either u’re cheating on me or u don’t love me anymore;whatever d case,I’m done. Your EX-WIFE. Pls don’t bother to find me. Ur brother & I are moving to Ghana together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Wife, nothing has made my day more dan receiving ur letter. Its true u & I have been married for 20yrs,although a gud woman is far from wot u’ve been. I watch TV soaps so much bcos dey remind me of ur constant bitching and nagging. Too bad dat doesn’t work anymore. I noticed wen u got a new hairdo last week,but d 1st tin dat came to my mind was u looked just like a boy! Since my father raised me not to say anything bad about people,I didn’t comment……and wen u cooked my favorite meal, u must have Mistaken me for my brother bcos I never liked prawns. -About d new nightie, I turned away from u bcos d N3499.99 price tag was still on it, &it was a coincidence dat my brother had just borrowed N3500 from me dat morning. After all of dis,I still loved u & felt we could work it out. So when I won 500 million naira lotto, on saturday, I left my job and bought a range rover and 2tickets for us to Paris for shopping,but wen I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason,I guess. My lawyer said ur letter ensures u won’t need a kobo from me……. Ur Ex_Husband..